I was talking to a friend this morning and remembered one of the deepest lessons I’ve learnt in the past couple of years: I don’t own anyone anything.
I have had my share fair of critique and people telling me I have changed. I have also had people feeling entitled to tell me what’s expected of me. This was especially difficult to endure going through many changes in life and a challenging period of personal growth. Whilst others could not see that journey, I felt like I was constantly being judged, pressured and didn’t get the support I needed.
The pressure led me to rethink how I view critique and judgement. I slowly began to realise that opinions from others should not occupy a mental space in my head. I came to a realisation that I am whole and nobody can take that away or belittle me. I learnt to step away from the pressure of expectations and to look internally at what makes me whole and focus on that. I don’t owe anyone excuses, explanations or an apology for the decisions I make and changes I endure.
Every time someone tries to pressure me, push me into a corner or judge me in anyway the little voice in my head reassures me that I don’t owe them or anyone else anything.
It’s absolutely liberating.
Khadija Ali ••• خديجة علي 